Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Thoughts on the Future

       This is going to be a bit different than my normal posts so bear with me, it's more a response to a couple of posts from another sweet blogger. I recently began reading a blog called I Kissed My Date Goodnight which is a dating blog written by a lovely single lady named Ruth. Most of the posts are lighthearted dating stories, posts about the kind of wife she would be, and some "letters to my future husband" posts (which I think are the sweetest idea), but two weeks ago Ruth wrote a post called Waiting for the Breakdown in which she poured her heart out about how she felt like a failure for not being able to find a husband after having written her blog for a few years and just generally feeling embarrassed. She explained that she just wanted to know if she would ever get married because if she wasn't, she felt like she could move on from this hold on her life. She was even considering quitting her blog because she felt like there was no point.
     Her post hit me hard, because I had just had a discussion with one of my friends about this exact same thing a few days before her post showed up in my feed. I know that I am only 22, and I am no where near an old maid, but it is something that I honestly worry about more than I probably should. I think it's just that in the past six months or so a lot of my friends have recently gotten engaged and are planning weddings and I feel like I am somehow very behind being a single gal. Just earlier today I was on the phone with my Grandpa and he said "I hope I'm still alive to see you get married and at least your first baby". The rational part of my brain knows this is not true, and honestly I couldn't imagine being engaged at this very moment, but I would like to be in a relationship that could lead to marriage a few years down the road. I don't want this to sound like my only goal in life is to be a housewife and that this is all that's important to me. I want to finish grad school, get a job I love, move out and live on my own for a while, but I would also like to get married. I feel like that is always looked upon negatively to have that in your list of goals, but it is on my list.
      After I read her posts about five times, I poured my heart out to her in the comment section and tried to encourage her and told her that her writing about these kind of things helped all of her readers, and told her she needed to continue blogging. I never usually subscribe to comments on posts, but I wanted to see other people's encouraging words as well. Honestly, as much as they helped her, they helped me too. Today, two weeks after that post, Ruth wrote a follow up, Two Weeks Notice. In her post she highlighted some quotes from people's comments, including a quote from my own comment. She explained that everyone's words encouraged her and helped her heal from her breakdown, and it really made me happy that my words and everyone else's could actually touch her, even though this is just an online community. I think it goes to show that blogging, no matter what the subject is, brings people together. These communities support people in a way that maybe their friends can't sometimes because here you can find others who feel or think almost the exact same feelings you do. I really just wanted to thank Ruth for her writing and encouraging words, and maybe make someone who reads my blog aware of Ruth's if they are also having these same thoughts.

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  1. It's weird because I'm in my best friend's wedding this weekend. I'm so excited for her, but I'm over here all single and it's also really weird for me. I'm going to check out that blog for sure though! Have you seen this post? I think you'd like it

    1. I love her post, thanks for sharing the link! :)


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